Hmmm....

i am not sure how to begin, or do i even want to begin... today, i found out that no matter how much, or even how long, i'm mad at someone doesn't change the fact that i had once shared a piece of my heart with that person. it also revealed to me that no matter how hard i try to harden my heart agaisnt the harsh realities of life, i remain as i am. my heart as weak as ever despite looking as tough as i can. i'm no saint, nor do i play the victim, but being able to extend the hand of friendship once again, no matter how much it hurt, might it be pride or something else, proved that i have changed. i'm no longer as childish as i used to be. i could really feel that i am maturing this year. at least that part of what the fortune-teller said came true. she had told me before that i am going to become mature in the trials ahead. i can't really say i'm happy right now, nor can i say i'm cheerful at most, cause i'm not. it's hard enough trying to do everything as not to give any one reason to worry about me, but to keep doing that even the comforts of my own home would tire me out much quicker, and i do need everything i could get cause i need to study for a test tomorrow. lately, it seems the topics i present are more serious than i intended. i guess i can't forever hide behind the shelter of my cheerfulness...